Editor’s Introduction
Readers will recall that Charlotte’s second lecture concluded without identifying the sixth common variety of Utilis Idioticus.
Interest has since intensified.
The Elite Altitude Finishing School for Lady Executives has confirmed that all previous enrolments have once again been carried forward automatically.
A further tuition fee will apply.
Owing to what the School describes as “exceptional demand for continued learning”, tuition fees have increased by a further 210 per cent.
This brings them to 465 per cent of their original level.
The School considers comparisons with the original level educationally unhelpful.
The previously rumoured door charge has also been introduced.
This is separate from tuition and is payable upon each entry. Students leaving the building for any reason will be charged again upon their return.
No exceptions will be made for medical emergencies.
Students have also been advised that recording instruments are prohibited. Mobile telephones, voice recorders, AI transcription tools and any other device capable of preserving the proceedings must be surrendered at the door.
Handwritten notes remain permitted as a transitional concession.
The School has assured students that these measures are intended solely to protect the integrity of the educational experience and are entirely unrelated to the continued non-disclosure of the sixth variety.
The Editor has been asked to repeat this assurance.
The Editor has now done so.
An undisclosed third party describes the atmosphere in the classroom:
Purses snap shut as the Lady Executives conclude payment of the newly introduced door charge.
Some appear mildly displeased by the additional levy.
Many are openly outraged by the 210 per cent increase in tuition fees.
All are in eager anticipation of the sixth variety of Utilis Idioticus.
No one leaves.
At the appointed hour, the doors open.
Charlotte’s Teacher’s Aide enters alone.
She carries a single sheet of paper.
She does not carry the Identification Manual.
A murmur passes through the room.
“Students, please.”
The murmur subsides.
Several Lady Executives look towards the doorway behind her.
The doors close.
Charlotte has not entered.
The Teacher’s Aide consults the sheet.
“Professor Kok regrets that she is unable to deliver today’s lecture.”
A collective gasp.
“She is indisposed.”
A hand rises immediately.
“Will the sixth variety still be presented today?”
“No.”
Another hand rises.
“Will today’s tuition fee be refunded?”
“No.”
“The door charge?”
“No.”
“Why was a door charge collected if there is no lecture?”
“You entered through the door.”
Silence.
“Will our enrolments be carried forward?”
“No.”
“Must we enrol again?”
“Yes.”
“For next Thursday?”
“Yes.”
“Will another tuition fee apply?”
“Yes.”
“At the present rate?”
“The rate is under review.”
A number of Lady Executives exchange concerned glances.
“Will those of us here today receive priority?”
“No.”
“Will places be limited?”
“That has not yet been decided.”
Several Lady Executives instinctively reach for mobile telephones no longer in their possession.
“When will enrolments open?”
“Midnight.”
“Will payment guarantee a place?”
“Payment will secure enrolment.”
“And next Thursday’s door charge?”
“Door charges are payable upon entry.”
“But we have already paid today.”
“Today, you entered today.”
The Teacher’s Aide folds the sheet.
“Next Thursday, you will enter next Thursday.”
She turns towards the door.
“Students, please.”
She leaves.
For several seconds, nobody moves.
Then every Lady Executive hurries to reclaim her telephone.
No one asks after Charlotte.
Leave a comment