…before anyone knows what’s happening
My enemies The run-of-the-mill employee thinks decisions are made in meetings, after extensive consultation, and the best idea has won, after due diligence and careful analysis.
They are not.
Meetings are where decisions are announced, endorsed, and – sometimes – misunderstood by my detractors people who have yet to master the art of stakeholder alignment.
The manipulation True alignment happens earlier. Quietly. Over a coffee, a chance meeting in a corridor, an informal “just touching base…” that never make it into the official minutes.
Once you understand this, you stop wasting time and energy persuading rooms.
You start curating outcomes.
Step 1: Socialise Early, Socialise Often
The amateur waits for the steering committee.
The professional begins weeks in advance.
Whenever I have an initiative of… strategic importance… I begin my alignment journey through a carefully sequenced series of conversations:
- the friendly temperature-check
- the informal sounding board
- the “just wanted your quick view” drop-in
- and my personal favourite, the pre-emptive reassurance loop
You will notice that at no point am I asking for approval.
I am simply helping stakeholders feel:
- consulted
- respected
- and gently invested in a direction that is, by remarkable coincidence, already largely formed.
By the time the formal paper circulates, most senior stakeholders experience a warm sense of familiarity.
And familiarity, in corporate environments, is often mistaken for agreement.
Step 2: Build the Illusion of Consensus
Fuck democracy Alignment is not about unanimity.
It is about momentum.
In every organisation there are individuals who cling—sometimes quite emotionally—to concepts like scrutiny, detail, and evidence. Left unmanaged, these people can create what I call unnecessary atmospheric drag.
The solution is simple.
During my early conversations, I make careful note of who is:
- broadly supportive
- conditionally comfortable
- or likely to require…
eliminationadditional care
When the time comes to socialise more broadly, I selectively reference the most encouraging signals:
“There’s strong support emerging…”
“Initial feedback has been very positive…”
“Stakeholders are broadly aligned…”
All technically true.
Just not universally distributed.
By the time the more cautious voices enter the conversation, they are no longer evaluating a proposal.
They are reacting to momentum.
And very few people enjoy being the lone pocket of resistance in a room that already appears to be moving.
Step 3: Manage the Dissenters (Kindly, of Course)
Every initiative attracts one or two individuals who believe his/her role is to “pressure-test the thinking.”
I find it best to engage these colleagues early—privately and with great warmth.
A quiet conversation.
A thoughtful nod.
Perhaps:
“I really value your rigour on these things.”
This serves two purposes.
First, it gives them the reassuring sensation of being heard.
Second, it allows me to gently frame their concerns as… already understood and being worked through.
If resistance persists, the framing evolves.
Never confrontational. Never direct.
Just a soft repositioning:
- Are we perhaps getting too deep into the weeds?
- Is this becoming more operational than strategic?
- Might we be losing sight of the broader enterprise view?
Over time, most dissenters begin to experience a subtle but unmistakable shift in the room’s patience levels.
The truly persistent ones often find themselves embarking on performance improvement journeys shortly thereafter.
Purely coincidental, of course.
Step 4: Orchestrate the Formal Meeting
By the time the steering committee finally convenes, my work is largely complete.
The paper is polished.
The key stakeholders are pre-briefed.
The likely questions have been gently pre-diffused through earlier conversations.
At this stage, the meeting serves a very important ceremonial function: it creates the official record of alignment.
You will often observe the following sequence:
- Light opening discussion
- One or two cautious clarifications
- My calm executive summary
- A brief, reflective silence
- General nodding
- “I think we’re comfortable to proceed”
And just like that, alignment has… emerged.
Some junior observers occasionally mistake this for luck.
I allow them that comfort.
Step 5: Lock the Narrative Immediately
Speed is critical once formal alignment has been achieved.
Within hours—sometimes minutes—I ensure the following artefacts are in circulation:
- the post-meeting summary
- the upbeat stakeholder update
- the forward-looking action plan
- and, where appropriate, a thoughtfully timed note to senior leadership
The objective is simple: make the aligned version of events the first written version of events.
Once something is documented calmly and confidently enough, it acquires a remarkable institutional durability.
Subsequent reinterpretations begin to look… untidy.
Step 6: Maintain the Alignment Story
Even after approval, one must remain vigilant.
Alignment, like many delicate ecosystems, benefits from ongoing care.
Periodic check-ins.
Targeted reassurance.
The occasional reframing of minor delivery turbulence as:
“expected early-stage complexity”
“normal implementation noise”
“exactly the kind of stretch we anticipated”
The key is consistency.
If you remain calm long enough, the organisation will usually follow your emotional lead.
And if the outcomes later prove… uneven… the historical record will still show that the initiative launched with strong, well-managed stakeholder support.
Which, when you think about it, is what really matters.
In Closing
Many operators try to win arguments in meetings.
I prefer to ensure the meeting is simply the final chapter in a story that has already been carefully written.
Alignment is not an event.
It is an environment.
Curate it early.
Shape it quietly.
And always remember:
By the time the room votes, the room should already agree.
Wicked Winning Ways Think Tank
1 Main St
Saint Quentin, CA 94964
United States
Email: charlottekokswickedways@pm.me
